Welcome to the fourth installment of my very own, JRW-mandated series "Coach Pop Culture Lessons," where I comment on things wonderful and terrible in the world of entertainment, and desperately attempt to connect it to the Spurs.
There's a mole right at the top of the Fiesta.
He's been there for years.
He's very good, you know. Very good at hiding in plain sight.
If this season takes a turn for the worse, worse than it is already, there are only a handful of men who would be in such a position to commit that level of athletic espionage.
Let's take a look at the suspects.
You'll notice my man-crush remained unmolested. I also forgot there was a woman in this movie.
1. Carpal. Manu Ginobili's debilitating, freakish injury led to many expressions of impotent rage and despair, and the Spurs have managed to do alright since (all things considered), but potential injury looms like a spectre over this team. Not just because we're old--we're not, really, don't tell BSPN--but because a championship season requires luck as well as skill. It was bad luck, followed by extraordinarily good luck, that got us Robinson and Duncan in the first place. Tank the season? No, not necessarily, but you never know when we'll find it happening anyway, against our will. Are Manu, TJ and Gary Neal merely outliers in this already bizarre season, when so many teams have also suffered injuries? Time will tell.
Evidence: Circumstantial; Anecdotal; the fact that we miss Manu dearly
2. Princess. An easy mark; Spurs fans have been rightfully suspicious of Richard Jefferson since he failed to deliver in his first year here. We've seen flashes of brilliance, then slumps. Right now, he's in a slump. Was RJ 3.0 a mirage? Or are his struggles just a symptom of a recurring team-wide problem? Does he need TJ Ford as much as I'm on record as saying he does? Does RJ even have the power to single-handedly earn--or lose--the Spurs a championship? So many questions. So many questions.
Evidence: Recurring Invisibility; Hoodies; Tiny ears
3. Sandwich. This isn't just code for the Spurs' most polarizing player, Matt Bonner*, but is representative of the kind of passive, ugly defense that makes Pop wax hyperbolic, and drives £'rs far and wide to drinking heavily. Even if--IF--defense doesn't win championships, it can sure lose them. Others among you can write at length about this, so suffice to say the numbers are not on our side so far this season, and things have to get better, and fast.
Evidence: Statistical; "Who are you going to believe--me, or your own eyes?"
4. Old Man. Wait, what is Pop doing on this list? He's the one conducting the investigation! That would mean... is our Front Office no longer the best in the business? Pop is now the ranking "top dog" on the Jackson-free Totem Pole of Coaches, so he has nothing left to prove. For every expertly-drawn game-winning play, there are complaints about his rotations, stubbornness, and possible drunkenness (that last one I wouldn't really see as a complaint.) Is the mole at the top... really at the very top?
Evidence: Empty wine bottles
Skullduggery aside, this is just a discussion starter. What do you think is this team's biggest liability? And should I give up on waiting by this rotary phone for my inside man to contact me?
*Although it could be referring to Blair's fluctuating weight. Jury's still out.
0 recs | 12 comments
Carpal Ford, clearly the mole.
SpursfanSteve - January 21, 2012
amusing and entertaining post, thanks.
arbitrary question…even if pops is not the mole, at what point does he lose the team in sloan-like fashion? or does he simply lose interest himself and walk away?
mikrobass3 - January 21, 2012
Pop was on record saying he would retire when Tim did, but has recently amended that to possibly sticking around for Manu and Tony. So there’s a ticking clock, in a sense.
DrumsInTheDeep - January 21, 2012 via mobile
If Pop stays to coach a new generation of stars, he may eventually lose the team.
Kondor - January 23, 2012
I just posted my answer to your question.
J.R. Wilco - January 23, 2012
for the poll, i vote other…having 3 centers, 3 small forwards and no ‘true’ power forward on the team is a glaring omission on the part of the f.o. in my view, especially in our division. obviously, the mole is scola.
mikrobass3 - January 21, 2012
Without a doubt, it’s Scola!
No other reason to send him to Houston makes much sense.
J.R. Wilco - January 23, 2012
Pop is responsible for constantly sticking with Bonner. Defense sucks and he can’t shoot right now. I don’t want trio hear about keeping a shooter, shooting. He’s mentally weak. Get rid off him. Send Bonner, Anderson and Parker to Boston for Allen and Rondo. Do it while they are desperate for change.
TrooperJoe73 - January 21, 2012 via mobile
Ainge is looking to rebuild, but that’s not enough to rebuild with.
grego21 - January 22, 2012
Seeing this movie in the morning made it tough to follow. Pretty good movie though, but you got to be really paying attention.
grego21 - January 22, 2012
The mole is Father Time. We need to rebuild to start dreaming of championships again, and we need to suck real bad to start rebuilding. For now we are stuck with a combination of aging overpaid stars and young prospects. Our earliest hope is next offseason, when Duncan’s contract expires, opening rebuilding opportunities.
Kondor - January 23, 2012
Good write up Drums…enjoyed it. Made me think who the mole is…RJ and Bonner are easy targets but their liability really goes back to POPATFO but if POPATFO were the mole, wouldn’t they be tanking right now? Which means, the mole must be…Sean Elliot! Why?
because he is angry about how the bigs keep reaching!
Joe deLarios - January 23, 2012
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